Tag Archives: MLB

Scoops and Predictions

3 Jan

Christians know with certainty that so-called “ObamaCare” will not be repealed, nor will Lady Gaga’s soon to be released album be the best-selling album of all time, nor will the Red Sox win this year’s World Series. Ridiculous, you say. One thing that should be a lock is Boston, with all their recent acquisitions. Sorry, but God has spoken.

According to Scripture, the world will come to an end on May 21, 2011. Not enough time for Republicans to kill healthcare reform. Not enough time for any album to set records. Not enough time to get to the Fall Classic.

From Tom Breen, of the A.P:

RALEIGH, N.C. – If there had been time, Marie Exley would have liked to start a family. Instead, the 32-year-old Army veteran has less than six months left, which she’ll spend spreading a stark warning: Judgment Day is almost here.

Exley is part of a movement of Christians loosely organized by radio broadcasts and websites, independent of churches and convinced by their reading of the Bible that the end of the world will begin May 21, 2011.

Ridiculous, you say. Matthew 24:36 states that no one can know the exact date when Jesus is supposed to return to save the people he wants to save from unbearable suffering here on earth and then eternal torment burning in the flames of hell. If you’re dumb enough to believe that nonsense – that no one can know – you must not be a true Christian. Human intelligence has evolved beyond the scope of Jesus’ teachings. In essence, we’re smarter than God.

This urgent revelation, about the world coming to and end and stuff, comes from none other than the President. That’s Harold Camping, President of the largest Christian radio conglomerate, Family Stations, Inc. He’s the same guy who said the Rapture would occur in September of 1994. In October of 1994, he said he had miscalculated. But now, he’s got it right. What if he’s wrong again?

According to Allison Warden, another true believer: “If May 21 passes and I’m still here, that means I wasn’t saved. Does that mean God’s word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all.”

Whatever…

It’s still raining.

19 May

While the oil rises in the Gulf, Rand Paul and Pat Toomey are ready to lead America back to the twentieth century.

Is it already over for Orlando and Los Suns?

It is already over for The Ghost Whisperer.

Guess what? The Red Sox actually beat the Yankees last night!